Sunday, January 3, 2010

NEVER PLAY CARDS WITH A MAN NAMED DOC.

When it comes to getting from point A to point B my preferred mode of travel is the train. Truth be told, there many drawbacks over other methods of transport, but, for great scenery, comfort, ambiance, and, a cozy roost to read or daydream from, a window seat is hard to beat. Add your favorite beverage or snack from the cafe car and life is good. Often, at such moments, I will read or hear something that I think is worth remembering so I jot it down on a scrap of paper and tuck it in my wallet.  Later, I transfer the thought or saying to an old black and white composition book which I keep in my night table.  The entries date back many decades and make terrific bedtime reading.  Following are many of my favorites:

" Never eat at a place called Mom's or play cards with a man named Doc."  (Nelson Algren)

When someone says, "It's not the money, but, the principle of the thing," it's always the money.

A man is never more dangerous than when he believes he is absolutely right.

Good judgement comes from experience, but, experience comes from bad judgement.

" Either the Bible will keep you from sin, or, sin will keep you from the Bible."  (Dwight Moody)

A child who's parents stand for nothing will fall for anything.

Worry is the interest paid by those who borrow trouble.

A communist is willing to share your wealth with his poverty.

Two measures of a persons character are:  What makes them laugh?  What makes them cry?

A fanatic is someone who does what God would do if God had all the facts.

Temptation usually comes in thru a door that was deliberately left open.

The right enemies can be more useful than the wrong friends.

The man rowing the boat seldom has time to rock it.

Keep your words soft and sweet......someday you may have to eat them.

" Today IS someday!"  (Robert Schuller.)

If more husbands were self starters fewer wives would have to be cranks.

If something will go without saying.........don't say it.

The truth does not come cheap, but, the Godly can always afford it.

If money can buy it, it's probably not worth having.

" There is nothing bad which could not turn into something worse."  (Stanislaw Witkiewicz)

God always gives his best to those who leave the choice to Him.

Stick to the word of God and God of the word will stick to you.

Failing to plan is planning to fail.  (Boy Scout principle.)

Don't pray for an easy life.....pray for a strong spirit.

To hate something you have to first not love it.

"A rich man can pretend to be poor.  A poor man has no option."  (Ronald Beardsley)

"A cigarette has a fire at one end and a fool at the other."  (Ramblin' Jack Elliot)

World's way:  Seeing is believing.  God's way:  Believing is seeing.

The check is never in the mail.

Don't be too quick to jump on the bandwagon..........the tune may change.

A rose may smell better than an onion, but, it won't make better soup.

Many of life's failures are people who quit without realizing how close they were to success.

Before you try to carry the ball, find out where the goal is.

The person who knows how will always have a job, but, the person who knows why will be their boss.

For every woman who has made a fool out of a man, there is a woman who has made a man out of a fool.

"History is mostly lies that everyone agrees on."  (George Bernard Shaw)

Pioneers always pioneer.

A person who has eternal life can afford to be patient.

If you can't sleep forget about counting sheep.......talk to the Shepherd.

You know you are getting old when you and your teeth no longer sleep together.

A pessimist looks at the land of milk and honey and sees only calories and cholesterol.

"God does not roll the dice with His universe."  (Albert Einstein)

"Any government that is big enough to give you everything you want, is big enough to take everything you have."  (President Gerald Ford)

America invented modern advertising.  It is the only country smart enough to sell anything, and, dumb enough to buy it.

Power is addictive.  As with most addictions it eventually destroys the addict.

"The problem with government is that it is mainly run by C students." (President Harry Truman)

By the time you meet the girl of your dreams you are Already married to someone else.

The word of God is exciting!  It takes a preacher to make dull.

If we keep medicating our children with behavioral or emotional problems, who will create the memorable art, or, write the great books, or, sing the sad songs?

Washington DC ........where dreams go to die.

The closest thing on earth you will ever see to eternal life is a government agency.

Majority rule is not always the best idea. Can two wolves and a lamb really vote on what's for dinner?

Everyone dies.....not everyone lives.

An employer who pays peanuts will wind up with monkeys for employees.

How happy are larks really?

Feed and care for a dog and he thinks you're God.  Feed and care for a cat and he thinks he's God.

"I couldn't wait to be famous. I've spent the rest of my life trying to buy back my privacy." (Bob Dylan)

If you give the Devil a ride, sooner or later he will drive your car.

GOOD is the enemy of GREAT.

"With Jesus before us, our tomorrows are always brighter than our yesterdays." (African Evangelist: "Josh")

"An agnostic is just a cowardly atheist."  (Studs Terkel)

"It's a great life if you don't weaken."  (Marion Abrams)

"The stupidest people I know are the know-it-alls."  (Malcolm Forbes)

You can be a great leader of the church, or, a great prophet.  You can't be both.

Inscribed on the tombstone of a blues singer:  I DIDN'T WAKE UP THIS MORNING.

"Just because you're a has been, does not make you a nobody."  (Debbie Aaron)

A fool and his money are soon elected to public office.

"Diamonds are for the vanity of women and the depravity of men."  (Winston Churchill)

"In legal matters nothing is certain but the expense."  (Samuel Butler)

Speak only when your words are better than your silence.

There are three kinds of people in this world:  The haves.  The have nots.  The have not yet paid for what they have.  (From a sermon by Pastor Tony Evans)

"Well done is better than well said."  (Benjamin Franklin)

Best vitamin for a Christian.....B1

Wisdom is having something to say, and, knowing when to say it.

"A jury consists of twelve persons chosen to decide who has the better lawyer."  (Robert Frost)

"No man is poor who has a Godly mother."  (Abraham Lincoln)

A blind wife and a death husband are always happy.

In every relationship someone is the hammer and someone is the nail.

"There are liars, damn liars, and statistics."  (Mark Twain)

Jesus built is church with two boards and three nails.

In the land of the blind a one eyed man is king.

You can give without loving, but, you can't love without giving.

Hitting the ceiling is not way to get up in the world.

God does not care who's right or wrong, God just cares.

Many people who think they are in the groove are actually in a rut.

If you shoot the gun of anger you may be killed by the recoil.

The same people who clamor for peace also clamor for protection.  The two don't always go together.

The church is not a country club for saints.  It is a hospital for sinners.

If things are going easier maybe you're heading down hill.

Show me what a person reads and I'll show you their character.

The Christian army is the only army that kills its wounded.

We are all manufactures.  Some make good.  Some make trouble.  Some make excuses.

Someone you love needs someone to hug.

Some people know the cost of everything and the value of nothing.

It's ok to be out on a limb if God is the branch.

What was the best thing before sliced bread?

Hobos work.  Bums won't work.  Drunks can't work.

A happy family is a sooner heaven.

People are entitled to their own opinions.  They are not entitled to their own facts.

By the time you live long enough to know how to really live life, it's over.

Two days with in laws are three days too many.

The faint hearted stayed behind.  The weak died along the way.  Only the strong arrived.  They were the pioneers.

"Don't ask what's wrong with that.  Ask what's right with that."  (Pastor Paul Sheppard)

Forgiveness is a lovely idea until you have something to forgive.

The United States system of government does not produce leaders, it produces politicians.

BIBLE   Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

"Around the world there are many democracies, but, no democratic armies."  (Bishop Milton C  Grannum)

Grace teaches us what we do not know.  Grace gives us what we do not have.  Grace makes us what we are not.

"If you think the sun rises and sets on you, you are liable to wind up settin' alone."  (Debbie Aaron)

Education can fill the head, but, only Jesus can fill the heart.

If you don't get everything you want...think of the things you don't get...that you don't want.

Make sure your giving is according to your income, lest God make your income according to your giving.

Even a hypocrite appreciates goodness enough to imitate it.

A person wrapped up in himself is a small package.

The morally crippled use excuses for crutches.

The character of a man can be measured by what he does when he has nothing to do.

Most heroes are stubborn people who didn't know when to quit.

If you were another person, would you be a friend of yours?

Suffering is a force God uses to make saints strong.

It's a short road to some peoples wits end.

Integrity is what a man is in the dark.

The more love we give away, the more we have.

Many of the suspicions we have of others are based on the knowledge we have of ourselves.

A sinner sees a difficulty in every opportunity.  A christian sees an opportunity in every difficulty.

Backsliding usually begins at the knees.

Some people worry more about the church building than the church.

The greatest freedom is slavery to God.  The greatest slavery is freedom from God.

"If you want to know if a man is honest, ask him.  If he says he is, he's not." (Groucho Marx)

"Flattery is like perfume. Sniff it, don't drink it."  (Alistair Begg)

If you are a flamboyant or unusual individual, there comes a point in your life when you must decide if you are truly eccentric, or, just the person who wears the funny hat.

"Remember when is the lowest form of conversation."  (James Gandolfini)

In many countries around the globe people pray to eat their next meal.  In America we pray NOT to eat our next meal

It is not enough to think outside the box. You have to burn the box.

Because I own my business I get to work only half a day. Because I am also my own boss, I can choose which twelve hours a day I work.

While struggling to give our children everything we didn't have, we forget to give them what we did have.

First rate people hire first rate people.  Second rate people hire third rate people.

If a person could memorize all of The Holy Scriptures, and understand them better than any theologian, they would only be qualified to be a devil.

Part time sinners are really full time backsliders.

You'll never get a busy signal on the prayer line to Heaven.

If you meet me, and forget me, you have lost nothing.  If you meet Jesus, and forget Him, you have lost everything.

Even if people don't want God, it's our duty to tell them God wants them.

Many people use thin thread when mending their ways.

People are happy to suffer in silence as long as they are sure everyone knows they are doing so.

When pursuing a goal, better to chase a deer and lose it, than chase a skunk and catch it.

Those who want to sing will always find a song.

Gossip is taking a molehill and making it into a mountain by throwing dirt on it.

We are not small because we are small.  We are small because we think small.

Business leaders fail due to run off.  They run off with their secretary.  They run off with the company funds.  Their ego runs off with them.

You will be proud of your children if you give them reason to be proud of you.

It takes more wisdom to take good advice than to give it.

Three Philadelphia lawyers are a match for the devil.

To a man with a hammer, everything looks like a nail.

"The word of God, preached without the heart of God, is not the word of God." (Wayne Monbleau)

A slave has one master.  An ambitious man has many masters.

Triumph comes after trust.

CAUTION:  CHRISTIAN UNDER CONSTRUCTION.

Many people worship their work, work at their play, and, play  at their worship.

Prayer is not getting my way with God, it is God getting His way with me.

A Bible is like a telescope.  Instead of looking at it, look thru it.

The Church is looking for better methods.  God is looking for better men.

The early bird catches the worm, but, it's the second mouse who gets the cheese.

Walking with a friend is better than running to the mall.

A defense attorney once said, "My clients are presumed Innocent up to the point that they run out of money."

There are two times a man does not understand a woman:  Before he marries her. After he marries her.

"Two days a person should never think about, yesterday and tomorrow.  Yesterday is depression.  Tomorrow is anxiety."  (Doctor Tony Evans)

"Joy is what you have left when you are unhappy."  (Jill Briscoe)

The problem with being retired is you never get a day off.

Some people give up their health in pursuit of money only to give up their money in pursuit of health.

"No God, no peace.  Know God, know peace."  (Robert Schuller Jr.)

What you do each day is important. After all, you are trading a day of your life for it.

"The years know what the days have yet to learn."  (Ralph Waldo Emerson)

We must do the things we don't want to do today, so that we will have the things we want to have tomorrow.

"If you learn to bend over backwards, at least you won't fall on your face."  (Doctor Tony Evans)

"Anyone can count the seeds in an apple, but, only God can count the apples in a seed."  (Robert Schuller Sr.)

Grace is not freedom to sin.  Grace is freedom from sin.

God does not usually help those who refuse to act.

God never points out sin in our lives to leave us in it.

If absence makes the heart grow fonder, some people must really love Church.

"The solution to crime is not the electric chair, it's the high chair."  (Greg Laurie)

"Before marriage keep your eyes wide open.  After marriage keep your eyes half shut."  (Benjamin Franklin)

A family can live without a country, but, a country cannot live without the family.

You can't tell kids they came from monkeys and expect them to act like people.

"The greatest pope is self."  (Martin Luther)

A hard heart is easily broken.

A pessimist sees a problem in every opportunity.  An optimist sees an opportunity in every problem.

"God does not so much punish sin as punish the unrepentant."  (Dot Worth)

"These days the only fire in a lot of churches is in the kitchen.  God did not call the Church to fry chicken.  He called Colonel Sanders to do that."  (R.W. Schambach)

"The new morality is not new, and, it certainly is not moral."  (Colonel Bramwell Tillsley)

"Grace gives us liberty, not license."  (Jimmy Swaggart)

"Let us be thankful for fools.  Without them the rest of us would not succeed."  (Mark Twain)

There are some ideas so preposterous that only an educated person will believe them.

Journalism is publishing the facts that people don't want published. Everything else is either publicity, public relations, or, advertising.

"Even if you're on the right track, the train will run you over if you just sit there."  (Will Rogers)

The lie of a king is more believed than the truth of a peasant.

"Keep your eye on the Master, not the pastor."  (Charles Spuregon)

How can I be over the hill when I can't even remember being at the top.

Experience is the best teacher.  Too bad the lessons are so expensive.

The only thing two rabbis will agree on is that a third rabbi is nuts.

It is remarkable how preaching sounds personal when it begins to deal with sin.

Before passing judgement on a sermon, try to put it into practice.

"Holiness is not the absence of sin, but, the presence of Jesus."  (Wayne Monbleau)

I was so upset when I caught my son smoking marijuana I had to take a Valium to calm down.

You are only young once, but, you can remain immature forever.

Old age is not for sissys!

"Too much of a good thing is wonderful!"  (Liberace)

"You can make a lot of money being patient."  (Harry Gross CPA)

Have a nice day.....SOMEWHERE ELSE!!  (Bumper sticker)

Truly great men never dwell in the past.

There is no limit to what a person can accomplish if they don't care who gets the credit.

"I hate parties.  It's my birthday, why should I be punished?"  (Candice Bergen)

The most important person in a company is the sales manager. Often, they are also the highest paid.  "He who brings it in, takes it home."  (Harry Gross CPA)

"The only thing worse than having a doting mother is having no mother at all."  (Robin Williams)

One thing God doesn't know:  Anyone He doesn't love.

"The greatest power ever known is inside of you."  (R.W. Schambach)

"If you have everything but Christ, you have nothing.  If you have nothing but Christ, you have everything."  (Marvin Rosenthal)

My God is not dead.  Sorry about yours.

LIFE.  Available for a limited time only. Only one per customer. May include limitations or restrictions.  Subject to change without notice.  May involve risks.  Individual results may vary.

Find a job you love and you'll never work a day in your life.

"To choose not to defend ones self is a personal decision.  To choose not to defend another is immoral"  (Martial artist Master Ren)

"Words make you think thoughts.  Music makes you feel feelings.  Combine these and they fly as a song."  (E.Y. "Yip" Harburg)

"We must beg God for mercy because we dare not ask for justice."  (Charles Spuregon)

A simple tune on a single instrument is the hardest song for a musician to play......Taps.

"It is not what we are taught, but, what we accept."  (Arshad Ahmed)

"Each decision we make forms one link in a chain.  Good or bad, we bear the weight of that chain forever."  (Charles Dickens)

"When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened."  (Billy Graham)

If you shoot for the moon and miss, you can still wind up in the stars.

"There are two primary reasons why most endeavors fail:  They are never started.  They are never finished."  (Jeff O'Leary, Colonel U.S.A.F.)

I'm a fool for Jesus. Whose fool are you?

Jesus, the rock that doesn't roll.

"We worship God for who He is.  We praise God for what He does."  (Jimmy Swaggart)

One wife is too many.  Ten wives are not enough.  Mid Eastern proverb.

"In general, parents love children more than children love parents."  (Bernie Herman)

"Money is a good servant, but, a cruel master."  (Herbert Lockyer)

"In my life I had a million worries.  Most of them never happened."  (Mark Twain)

Psychotics build castles in the air.  Neurotics take refuge in them.  Psychologists collect the rent.

Buy quick, regret slow.  Pennsylvania dutch saying.

Statistics never lie.  Especially, if you arrange them right.

Knowledge is like a triangle.  To build it high you must start with a broad base.

Rumor runs half way around the world before truth even has its boots on.

"Nothing will take you straight to hell if you do nothing about Jesus."  (R.W. Schambach)

"Jesus favorite words were L words:  Last, Least, and Lost."  (Col. Bramwell Tillsley)

"The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith.  The beginning of faith is the end of anxiety."  (George Muller)

"Lovers look at faces.  Beggars look at hands.  When you pray do you look at Jesus face or hands?"    ( Rev. Gill Trusty)

"We will not win the battle because God is on our side.  We will win the battle because we are on God's side."  (Joe Louis)

"God is who He says He is.  God will do what He says He will do.  I am what God says I am.  I can do what God says I can do."  (T.L. Osborn)

Some Fundamentalists are Christians who think Jesus is too liberal.

The sun that melts the wax also hardens the brick.

He who slings mud looses ground.

Quality is remembered long after price is forgotten.

The first rule of music is that it ought to be an improvement over silence.

No matter how opulent a monarch's throne, he still has to sit on his own behind.

Affluence seldom provides good soil in which to grow character.

"A smile is the shortest distance between two people."  (Victor Borge)

"The problem with the middle of the road is that it usually has a yellow stripe down its back."  (Tom Marr)

A hangover is the burden of too much proof.

"If you don't paddle your own canoe, you don't move."  (Katherine Hepburn)

If you get two Baptists together you get three opinions.

"The greatest hindrance to revival is the church clock."  (R.W. Schambach)

"There are two kinds of people in this world, those who have repented, and, those who need to."  (Doctor Bernard Rossier)

"If you're fuzzy about the devil, you'll be fuzzy about God."  (Bishop Milton C Grannum)

"TV is called a medium because it's neither rare nor well done."  (Ernie Kovacks)

Cookin' lasts, kissin' don't.  (Pennsylvania Dutch proverb)

"It is difficult to fight with a smile on your face.....and win!"  (Victor Borge)

"Write your accomplishments in stone and your failures in dust."  (Benjamin Franklin)

"When a poor man makes a journey he can laugh at thieves."  (Juvenal)

"In politics, sincerity is your most important asset.  If you can fake sincerity, you can fake anything."  (President Ronald Regan)

"He who has nothing, and, covets nothing, is rich."  (Geoffrey Chaucer)

"If you didn't build it, it's not really yours."  (Tim Allen)

"Why go looking for lilacs when you're lying in a bed of roses?"  (Joan Baez)

"I threw away a fortune to gain something money can't buy....poverty."  (John Aaron)

God did not call us to go witnessing.  He called us to be witnesses.

When it comes to giving to The Lord's work, some people will stop at nothing.

Judgement is getting what we deserve.  Mercy is not getting what we deserve.  Grace is getting more than we deserve.

"There is no trick to making a fortune, the trick is keeping it."  (Jay Gould)

"A second marriage is a triumph of hope over experience."  (Sir Winston Churchill)

Taste makes waist.

"There are no illegitimate children, only illegitimate parents."  (Lewis C Shepley)

"I can't make you do it, but, I can make you wish you did."  (Boot camp drill Sargent)

Anybody can run a train. The trick is stopping a train.

"Truth is a poor story teller."  (Somerset Maugham)

"The content of most woman's magazines boils down to how to get a husband, or, get rid of leftovers."  (Hayes B Jacobs)

If you kneel before God, you can stand before anything.

It is said the only sure things in life are death and taxes.  At least death doesn't get any worse.

I started eating healthy foods at a time in life when my body could actually use a few preservatives.

"Lead us not into temptation."  I do well enough on my own.

There is nothing more permanent than a temporary tax.

Some well off people are born on third base, but, later in life the believe they hit a triple.

"The Word Of God is meant to change man.  Man is not meant to change The Word Of God."  (Reverand Arthur Melanson)

"People have to stop believing God can do anything, and, start believing God will do anything."  (Evangelist Jack Coe)

"It is not the passages in the Bible that I can't understand that worry me, it's the passages I can understand."  (Mark Twain)

When people refuse to believe in God, the danger is not that they will believe in nothing, but, that they will believe in anything.

"Youth would be an ideal state if it came much later in life."  (Lord Asquith)

It is not what a man earns, but, what he saves that makes him rich.

Mediocre people are always at their best.

"Never expect justice, but, never stop granting it."  (Wayne Mombleau)

Infidelity always takes you further than you wanted to go, and, always costs more than you were willing to pay.

It is not what a man learns, but, what he remembers that makes him wise.

Freedom has one price, and, one price only..........Blood.

Mothers and Fathers in law should only wear beige so that they blend into the woodwork.

"The only barrier between the British and Americans is a common language."  (Sir Winston Churchill)

May your biggest dreams be the least the Lord ever blesses you with.

Every great event teeters on the brink of disaster.

A good name is gained by hundreds of acts, and lost in one.

If you want your dreams to come true, don't sleep much.

"I may not be sure of what is waiting for us on the other side, but, I'm sure of Who is waiting for us on the other side."  (Robert Schuller)

"People who own Bibles that are falling apart usually are not."  (Charles Spuregon)

A civilization can be judged not by what they left behind, but, what they allowed to be destroyed.

Has anyone actually checked to make sure some other planet is not using Earth as their nut house?

Stock analysts only exist to make fortune tellers look good.

A dog with a bone is always in trouble.

"I have the right to do as I damn well please, but, I have the responsibility to accept the consequences exercising my right brings."  (P.J. O'Rourke)

"If you are twenty and you are not a radical, you have no heart.  If you are forty and still radical you have no brain."  (Winston Churchill)

"A hobby is a happy medium between a passion and a monomania."  (Honore' de Balzac)

Better to make a good life than a good living.

The moon is not bothered by the braying of wolves.

What God does not deliver you from, God will deliver you thru.

Jesus built His Church with two boards and three nails.

"He who seeks not the Cross of Christ, seeks not the glory of Christ."  (John Of The Cross)

"A Christian never falls asleep in the fire. They fall asleep in the sunshine."  (Alistair  Begg)

A smart person only believes half of what they hear.  A wise person knows which half to believe.

All men are self made, but, only the successful ones are willing to admit it.

A hoppa is a tent like canopy Jewish couples are married under.  Shtoop refers to intercourse.  I once saw a Jewish girl wearing a tee shirt that read:  NO HOPPA, NO SHTOOPAH.

ALL GENERALITIES ARE WRONG.

When asked what was the hardest instrument to play Maestro Leonard Burnstein quipped: "Second fiddle."

"A dog will look up to you.  A cat will look down at you.  A pig will look you straight in the eye as an equal."  (Sir Winston Churchill)

Money can buy friends, but, they're usually not worth the price.

"Until the tide goes out, you can't tell which companies have been swimming naked."  (Warren Buffett)

Adam and Eve had the perfect marriage.  She did not have to put up with his mother.  He did not have to hear about all the men she could have married.

"In life problems are inevitable, but misery is optional."  (Joel Osteen)

Money not only changes hands, it changes people.

Sign in a fancy restaurant:  UNATTENDED CHILDREN WILL BE SOLD AS SLAVES.

The happiest situation is to be the parent of a famous child.  The saddest situation is to be the child of a famous parent.

"In this Country any child can grow up to be president.  That's just one of the risks a parent has to take."  (Paul Harvey)

"Excellence is not an act, but a habit."  (Aristotle)

"Nothing I say today will teach me anything."  (Larry King)

Music played without passion is just math.

Sports does not build character, it reveals it.

The computer driven information highway is turning our children into road kill.

"When it comes time to die, make sure you have nothing to do but die." (Jim Elliot, martyred missionary)

"By the time I was old enough to realize how smart my father was, my kids were old enough to tell me how dumb I am."  (Garrison Keillor)

If you doubt my love for you, take a knife and cut out my heart.  You will find yourself there.

"You can be young without money, but, you can't be old without money."  (Tennessee Williams)

Promises are like virgins. They last as long as they last.

On seeing people lined up to get into the best restaurants E.B. White observed: "Prosperity makes its own bread lines."

As children we see the world clearly.  As we grow older we try to recall what it was we saw.

"Time is a great healer, but a lousy beautician."  (Garrison Keillor)

The man who know how will always have a job, but, but the man who knows why will always be his boss.

Sign on a Church at the seashore:  OUR LIFE GUARD WALKS ON WATER

If God had wanted us to vote He would have given us candidates.

A real friend dances with you in the daylight, and, walks with you in the darkness.

JESUS PAID THE PRICE........WE KEEP THE CHANGE.

"A baby is God's opinion that the world should go on."  Carl Sandburg

THERE IS NEVER A TRAFFIC JAM ON THE EXTRA MILE.

"Education is when you read the fine print. Experience is what you get if you don't." Pete Seeger